When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting his body up, he's pushing the world down.
The leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
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